You've Got To Be Kidding Me!
by ItachiIsMineNotYours
Summary: A young girl is all of a sudden surround by the "feared" organization, Akatsuki.
1. Wait What?

WHOOO-HOOOO MY FIRST STORY AND I'M SO PROUD OF MYSELF.

NOTE: I DON'T OWN NARUTO IN ANY WAY, SHAPE, OR FORM (I wish I did)

--

Chapter One

(Sam's POV)

Where am I?

One minute I'm at home, looking at AMVs, the next I'm in a hallway that seems to stretch for miles. I zip my jacket as I walk down the corridors. As I walk, I see doors with designs on them.

A fish

.

.

A bird

.

.

A doll

.

.

A flower

.

.

A swirl

.

.

A dollar sign

.

.

A circle with an upside down triangle

.

.

A sharingan

.

.

.

.

.

WAIT, A SHARINGAN?

All the designs were making sense. I'm in the Akatsuki hideout

(End Sam's POV)

She couldn't believe that she was here and she couldn't be more happier

"Who are you?"

Sam turned around to see...Tobi.

"My name is Sam."

"What is Sam-chan doing here?"

She hestitated. "Uhhhh..."

She had to think of something fast. That's when she said it.

"Tobi is a good boy."

There was a long pause, then Tobi tackled Sam into a bone-crushing hug.

" TOBI LIKES SAM-CHAN!! COME AND MEET THE OTHERS!!", he said as he pulled her down the hall ' I have a wierd feeling about this."

--

Deidara stared at Sasori for the longest time. Sweat started to form on his forehead.

"Got any threes...un?"

Sasori smirked. "Go Fish."

Deidara threw down his cards "You're cheating...un!"

"Nope, you just suck."

The door burst open as Tobi came running in, pulling Sam by the arm (poor arm TT)

"Deidara-sempai. Sasori-sempai. Tobi found the new girl."

Everyone dropped what they doing to see what he was talking about. They immediately surrounded Sam.

" Why does she have the Leaf symbol on her jacket?", asked Sasori

Pein stepped towards her. "That jacket is an insult to our organization, now take it off"

Once it fell off her shoulders, revealing a black low-cut shirt, his eyes bulged out and a blush appeared.

"PUT IT BACK ON! PUT IT BACK ON!"

Once she did, he pushed her into a room. "I'm gonna ask her a few questions, then I'll decide if she stays"

--FIFTEEN SECONDS LATER--

Pein came out.

"What happened?", Kisame wondered

"Uhhh..."

-FLASHBACK-

"Is that a tutu?"

"Uhhh...Welcome to Akatsuki."

"Yays"

-END FLASHBACK-

"Meet our new member, Sam"

Tobi jumped up and down screaming," TOBI'S FRIEND IS STAYING"

Someone got off the couch and walked out of the room.

"Who was that?"

Kisame looked at the door. "Oh, that was Itachi. He's not very talkitive or social."

Sam shrugged. "I guess that's to be expected of an Uchiha"

"Wait...how did you know he was an Uchiha?"

Sam grinned. " I forgot to mention.."

Everyone leaned in.

"**I KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT EACH AND EVERYONE OF YOU**", she said in a demonic voice.

"..."

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

"I also know that one of you likes to dress up like a woman."

Pein shrinked back. " Deidara, show her to her room."

As they walked off, Sam started humming the Nutcracker theme.

--

The Nutcracker is a famous russian ballet. I thought it would fit in to this chapter

See ya later


	2. If I Had Your Hands

Chapter Two- If I had you're hands

As they walked down the hall, Sam starting humming. Deidara glanced at her.

"What are you doing...yeah?"

"Humming"

"I know that, what are you humming...yeah?"

"A song"

He scowled. He was getting tired of her short answers. Sam glanced at him and saw the fustration on his face. He just wanted to ralk to her.

"It's called 'Rain' and it's one of my favorite songs"

Deidara smiled slightly. "How does it go....yeah?"

So she sang.......

_Take a photograph,  
It'll be the last,  
Not a dollar or a crowd could ever keep me here,_

I don't have a past  
I just have a chance,  
Not a family or honest plea remains to say,

Rain rain go away,  
Come again another day,  
All the world is waiting for the sun.

Is it you I want,  
Or just the notion  
Of a heart to wrap around so I can find my way around

Safe to say from here,  
You're getting closer now,  
We are never sad cause we are not allowed to be

Rain rain go away,  
Come again another day,  
All the world is waiting for the sun.

Rain rain go away,  
Come again another day,  
All the world is waiting for the sun.

"Wow....yeah"

Sam blushed and started doing her fingers like Hinata. Deidara glanced at her.

"Are you blushing?"

She turned her face away.

"No"

He smirked and opened a door.

"We're kinda short on rooms, I hope you don't mind sharing with me...yeah"

She grinned. "I don't mind at all"

He smiled.

"Can I ask you a personal question, Deidara?", she asked as she sat on the edge of the bed.

"Sure....yeah"

"Do you use your mouths for something other than art?

Deidara raised an eyebrow. "I'm not sure I follow."

Then she blurted out. "Do you touch yourself witht them?"

His face turned red. "Umm.....do I?......no"

She shrugged and got up. "I'm gonna take a shower"

"ok"

Before she entered the bathroom, she turned to Deidara.

"It's a shame you've never done that before. I mean, if I had mouths on my hands....."

She grinned michieviously and disappeared behind the door, leaving Deidara to imagine her doing that.

-----------------------------------------------------------

The song "Rain" belongs to Breaking Benjamin_  
_


	3. The Real Me

Chapter Three- The Real Me

After a long night, a thought came to Sam's mind. They didn't know how she really acted. She grinned at the thought. As she started to go out the door, Deidara woke up.

"Good Morning...yeah"

She grinned at him as she walked out. "Morning, sexy"

Sam failed to notice Deidara turning red.

-**TEN MINUTES LATER-**

As everyone ate breakfast, Sam stared at Tobi.......well, at least his mask. Tobi looked over at her.

"What's wrong, Sam-chan?"

She kept staring at him. Deidara glanced at Sam, raising an eyebrow. _' what's going on with her..yeah '_

Tobi was about to turn away when she grabbed his head and licked his mask. Everybody dropped their forks and stared at her, even Pein himself stared. Sam then exclaimed.

"HE DOES TASTE LIKE A LOLIPOP!!!!"

Kisame snorted into laughter, falling out of his chair. Tobi ran out of the room, turning red behind his mask. Everybody else continues to stare at her as she cleaned her plate and walked out.

**-THAT NIGHT-**

Deidara couldn't help but notice how Sam kept passing glances at him. He thought to himself. _"Does she doubt me being male?"_

He was sitting on his bed when Sam came in. "Deidara, I was wondering if..."

He jumped up.

"I DON'T KNOW WHAT IS GOING THROUGH YOUR HEAD BUT I'M GONNA TELL YOU RIGHT NOW. I AM NOT A GIRL. I AM A GUY. ONE HUNDRED PERCENT MALE AND HERE'S PROOF" with that he pulled his pants down. Her eyes widen as her face turned red.

"I was gonna ask if you had any nail polish, but ok. I've been knowing you were a guy"

He flushed. "oh......yeah"

She glanced down. "Another question"

"Yeah?"

"Can I touch it?"


End file.
